She's someone who i know from school. Since middle school, I believe. We'd talk here and there but not that much. But I always remember her and how she couldn't go to school much. She spent alot of her life in a hospital. She suffered alot but she always had a high spirit about things and always smiled even if she had her conditions. I mean she had a needle in her chest but she never once showed pain or anything. I just recently saw her last year, she came into my work place and ate. I talked to her for a while and she was telling me how she was hanging in there. She looked sicker & skinnier than she was in high school but she was still smiling. I always admired that about her. How she could bare it all and smile. She just got married too, but today I found out that she had passed away. It's a bit sad to know even though we really didn't talk much. But I knew her and always felt a bit sad for her. But I'm glad to know she's in a better place and not suffering anymore. Hoping her family and closest friends and her husband take care of themselves. again, Rest In Peace Chelsea. We will all miss you.

lately, i kind of don't really care what people say that are in trend now. whether something is in trend or not, if i like it and it looks good on me, i'm going to wear it. there is so many people who worry and try so hard to go by current trends. but honestly, trends actually change daily and so fast, it's hard to naturally keep up. it kind of annoys me when people worry about those things. i just think you should wear what's good for you and what you feel comfortable in.
people also shouldn't worry if something seems "hype" atm. who cares really? if you like it, then you like it. don't worry if people think you're just following the hype.
i think for the time being, i'm going to stick what i love wearing until i get tired of it myself. i think being "in trend" is just wearing something that state who you are. don't go by the trends in society, go by the trends you follow and makes you stay true to yourself.

this guy right here....oh my god. just a month ago i barely noticed him. But his dang smile in Moon Embraces the Sun got to me. It's so nice and beautiful and I just fell for it. Literally. And now after watching a few stuff with ze:a, i like him ALOT. he became my bias....i have a feeling he's gonna pass jaejoong soon on my list and maybe junhyung...but idk! ): like i don't mind but at the same time it's sad. it actually matters to me about my list, silly i know. but anyways, this guy is so much like me i didn't even know it. i guess fell for the right one huh? A fashionista who probably loves clothes just as much as me. now i can have a good shopping buddy. being a fashionista 24/7, even during practice videos. loves the color pink. his personality is so simaliar to mine. he's really blunt & opinionated which i am. idk but i really like this guy. even though people say he's too skinny, who cares. he can't help it. he's short & always wears insoles haha. i think he's extremely handsome. he's so good at acting. I love his voice and he can sing. His dancing is good but not the best in the group but i don't really care lol. Currently watching him in Stand By and i love his character.  if only you liked hello kitty & coke...OMG you would so perfect then. literally. i wish it was some secret hidden inside you.

so this is my reality conclusion for future. i'm getting older by the minute...almost getting to old for making my dreams come true. the reason for me saying is, i remember and realized what last YG auditions i did, the requirements were....you had to be born the year 91 or later and that was a couple years ago. and i am a 91er. i don't think i'm quite TOO OLD yet but i'm getting to that point. my parents both support me but both told me i need an alternative.
i have come to think alot lately, as in a couple months of thinking, and i decided i want to teach english in korea in public schools. this is what i want for future and it's a stable job. though inside i will never give up my dreams but this is what i'm going to do. i always wanted to go into fashion school or music school but it all cost way too much. i don't want to spend the rest of my life paying off my school debts. so after i go to korea in august for three months, i will be back in november. then when january comes, i'm going to go to atleast a community college and get my associates. since that is all i need to become an english teacher. i've been reading alot on it. plus i have two older friends who both have teached over in korea and loved it. actually my friend Kara is still there as we speak and still teaching :) sarah had to quit because her & her husband wanted to settle down and have kids so they're back here. plus simon & martina said they both love it too. but yeah the system pays for your flight there and for a place for you to stay. it seems too good to be true but it isn't. they do this because they are ALWAYS looking and wanting teachers. and both my parents think it's good for me.
actually i wanted to be a teacher when i was younger. and i'm hoping it will be elementary kids since i love little kids and i think they are way more easier to teach because their minds learn more and adapt more. so hopefully it all goes well for me. i'm going to keep this goal and head for it. i'm actually really excited though :) and this isn't one of those things i say and probably won't do because i know i will do it and can do it. i wish i could get my friend katie to do it since she's in college for teaching and she's actually, well hopefully, graduating this winter but she doesn't know yet. and i think it will be a great experience for her. but i doubt she will go for it.

it's been a while since i've been on here...honestly, i forgot about it. so here i am. i am going to make a huge long post about what i've been basically doing. i think i last updated before i went down to my sister's.
so i spent a whole good 4 days there, i think? i went shopping with my mom, deedee & kadie. i wasn't suppose to buy anything but i ended up buying an earing, necklace, t-shirt & bracelet. but i don't regret buying them because i love them all alot. there was a stupid head at the mall who apparently was texting and just HAPPENED to trip over a BIG PLANT when we walk buy. seriously? and all his friends looked at us first then was like "omg dude you okay? hahahahahaha." and you know what i did? i walked by and literally bluntly blurted out "he did it on purpose." i don't even care, that was stupid. not even funny. kids these days.
i basically spent the weekend playing Resident Evil, some game that was like Dynasty Warriors & Uncharted 3. which was fun like always. i always love playing video games with my sis. and DeeDee ended up coming home with me though her mom (my sis) was mad about it bcuz shes staying for a month. but DeeDee is 19 and she can basically do what she wants so she came anyways and hopefully my sister isn't still mad about it.
yeah and we've been doing these pass two weeks is tumblr, watching dramas, watching movies, playing video games, eating, making videos, taking pictures & all that good stuff. Oh and of course i have been working. Work isn't so great right now since our town no longer has a freaking hospital. yeah that means no ER or anything. Closest one now is 40 min away which is scary. And everything now is just slow and no business because of this. we are barely getting by right now. Our hours have been cut down because of this. I am really going to need to get a second job soon.
BUT plus side is, i am getting alot more than expected for my taxes. Last year for some reason i got $100 only which was bull but this year I am getting about $600 back. YEAH which helps alot towards my trip to korea. makes me a LITTLE less worried. Just paying bills right now is getting frustrating ONLY because not only bills are due, but so much bdays coming up like kadie's, dad's, katie's, aika's. then there is mother's day plus i have a baby shower this weekend. also on top of that there is going down back to my sister's in a week and a half which takes gas to get there & food and etc. plus new drivers license which is due by thursday before my B-Day plus license plate. UGHH this is life guys, it hits your really hard sometimes. I am trying really hard to work this out without becoming broke lol. It's just a bit hard with how work is going right now. I apologize if i sound as if i'm whining and complaining about all this, it's just a bit frustrating for me atm. but i am trying to pull through :)