he is the one person i seek to progress the most. i support him with everything and want him to do good. i want him to have a stable future and get recognized for his talents. for his passion for movies. he said he even hopes to make his own movies because he loves them so much. i want people see pass that beautiful face of his. yes, he is gorgeous and handsome. but he so much more than that and he can really act. i am not even saying this because I like him. he really is good. watch Tree With Deep Roots, and his acting was flawless in there. i was so proud of him because he did so well. i use to have this fear....a really scary fear that ran in me for a couple years, while hyuksoo was just modeling. i was so afraid that one day, he'd get too pressured from the model industry...and that he'd take his precious life away. it became bigger when Daul (RIP) took her life. I got scared even more. It wasn't because I didn't believe in him, it was because I know that the fashion world can be a scary and dirty place. But now, that I can truly see the happiness in him and he has more opportunities, I don't have that fear anymore. Alot of people think that because he plays "depressing" characters, he's depressed in real life. They think because he doesn't talk alot and because he doesn't smile often. But that's not it at all. He's good at portraying those roles mainly because of his outer image and his voice. And because he can really act well. He's reserved, quiet and shy. But when he's with friends, he's the opposite.
To me, he's a star that starting to shine. One day, he will shine the whole world.

does KBS have a heart? The victim's family have been trying so hard to recover from last year. both parents are very ill. why would they go to them and ask them about something that is tragic to them. Even the older brother was "rumored" that he took the money daesung compensated and ran away. SERIOUSLY? Him & DaeSung are actually friends now and they talk. He's very helpful and encouraging to towards DaeSung. What KBS did was just wrong. it's so disappointing. go try and find someone dating or something rather than trying to ruin someone.

with DaeSung's & JiYong's whole issue. that was LAST year, they already apologized numerous times. and they already did a whole talk show about it. i know Big Bang is coming back, but it's time for shows to get over it. It's old news now. go find something else to talk about. they've had enough of it and it's hurtful to see them upset every time people have to bring it up. especially KBS, they have some nerve to try to make DaeSung look bad but TOO BAD they failed because the man's older brother confirmed it was not true. KBS is immature and needs to stop holding grudges.

people asking me when am i going to college. What if i don't want to go at all? Sure, it's good for you but college isn't for everyone. you don't have to go to college to succeed in life. I know I'm not disappointing my parents either because they're really open and accept anything. I don't fucking care anymore. I'm either going to go be in music with YG or get into the fashion industry. I don't care what people say or think about it. Do you know how many times i've heard "you won't go far with music. it's just temporarily." or i'll hear "you think being famous is all that great?" IT'S NOT ABOUT THE FAME. it's about doing something i love and want to do. i know what's coming and i know that the music business isn't the prettiest place, but it's worth it to me. i don't want to be in the music industry just to be famous. i don't want to be in it just so i can meet all those amazing people. i just want to do something i feel happy doing and where i can express myself the most. i hate those kind of people who want to be a "kpop star" just so they can meet their precious oppas. girl please, you're wasting your time when there is someone who wants it for the right reasons & wants it way more than you could ever want it. anyways, i don't care anymore if i get judged and stepped on because i'm going this journey. they'll see one day. they'll see.

it was so scary and real to me. It was the middle of the night and i was just walking on the streets and then all of a sudden i get this call. I don't remember who it was on the phone but they were telling me i have to go to the hospital and visit Joon. and at first i thought it was ridiculous and told them i can't. but they kept on insisting. so i hung up and thought over it and decided to go. i like literally rushed there and that person texts me the room number. So I get there, but this hospital was kind of small and I didn't realize that the stay rooms were on the next few floors and I just missed the elevator so i ran up the stairs instead. And his room was actually one of the first ones, so i barged in and i looked around and so no one on the bed or anything.....but this was the creepy part. there was this tub thing on the floor, it was pretty big and i looked inside and Joon was laying there with his eyes closed and had a mask breather on. I literally freaked out. and then i woke up. i thought he as dead or something in that tub thing...i don't know. i don't want a dream like that ever again...

-defined jawline. i love a very defined jawline, it's so attracting to me. who doesn't like that?
-when it comes to style, button ups with a bow tie, i like alot. chic is attractive. but not too tidied up. OR when they wear leather jackets, studds especially. i also like that too. actually i like rock chic. but if he can pull off the most oddest & interesting things in fashion, i like that too.
-I like it when guys have pretty like hands. Like HeeChul's hands are so freaking pretty for a guy. I think HyukSoo has pretty hands too...except his thumb nails, i don't like them lol. I KNOW, this sounds so weird, but i'm very observant to those kind of those things. and i think its attractive when guys have pretty hands.
-guys who look mysterious when they don't smile, but when they do, it's their best feature.
-looks good in guyliner. i don't even care, i like guyliner and it makes them look more uniquely interesting.
-somehow musically talented. whether it's singing, rapping, piano, guitar or any instrument. though i'm really attracted to guys who can play piano / guitar. i think they look handsome & have charm when playing.
-liked by / good with children is a plus plus.
-personality alot like mine. i don't really believe in opposites attract. for me that is. i can be very quiet & reserved. pretty shy to new people. unless I am with friends, i can be pretty free and outgoing. i think if he's alot different, personality wise, we won't get along. plus i don't like guys who are too outgoing anyways.

there's so much more...but i don't want to post every single thing. my standards are really high, huh? i really can't help it. i can't help what i'm attracted to and what i like.
now reading this over...and over....hyuksoo fits in every single category. literally except the children one, i'm not too sure about that. but i know for sure the last one he fits because his personality is alot like mine. and everything else i written...he fits............

If they did date, then their parents are not aware that they are no longer together. Because either way, they are not together at this moment. You know how there is always some political / powerful person who messes up and they just use celebrity gossip to cover up? I think that JunHara was set up for that kind of thing. (same goes for Jonghyun & SeKyung.) They can't just out of the blue start going out in public and let everyone know. & then so happens photographers are there taking stalking pictures of them. THey were so open and no cover up. There may be alot of couples dating within the industry but because of their contracts & fans, they try their best to stay on the DL. Just look at Se7en & HanByul, it was YEARS after until they went puplic / found out. GD has dated (he said so on Healing Camp) but he was really careful about it. Though alot of people were suspicious, they never had proof. I don't know but I think if JunHara was really dating, they wouldn't have just plopped out in public like that. Maybe Junhyung & Hara really did like eachother. I indeed think they make a cute couple, but I don't believe they're real. What kind of relationship is it if you don't call or even text eachother? Being busy is not an excuse. Alot of idols are busy but they make time to keep in contact with their family and friends. If you can do that, can't you take the time to do that with the one you love? Why is JunHyung & Hara always awkward when their relationship is brought up on broadcasts? I understand if they were shy about it, but the way they react is so different from that. Also after their "break up" rumors, there were new rumors popping up that they have couple rings & jewelry and all this stuff. But when infact other Beast members have the SAME EXACT ring or bracelet. So that makes no sense to me. If they were real and more open about it, then i think more people would believe it. I mean alot fans already accept the thought of it. I'm just really fishy about it and over analized it too much i guess. it's just in my point of view on them and how i see it.

wow people are like all over him now. now that he's in SUFBB. But...his character, Choi Chi Hoon, in White Christmas was way better than his character in SUFBB. whatever, I'll always like him as Choi Chi Hoon.
it's just so random and weird to see people post his pictures all the time now on tumblr...where before people were like "sungjun who?" lol...seriously. there were a few people who did know him. i NEVER saw anyone post / reblog him on my dash before but now....all the time lol. this is what a drama like SUFBB does. okay...i'm going to take HyukSoo, JongHyun & HyunJoong with me and aika and we're going to neverland. we'll take a supply of coke, burgers, popcorn & cocoa with us. yep yep.

because he's a father who also makes mistakes which makes him more perfect. The moment when he spent HIS OWN MONEY on Lauren, DaYoung and Leo, even he was surprised. He bought Lauren & Dayoung such pretty clothes. I was kind of worried since he has no fashion sense but he dressed them so pretty. This guy is a scrooge when it comes to money. He doesn't even spend money buying his own clothes. Which shows how much he loves those kids. My mother was surprised of it too lol. Joon you are so wonderful to those kids and I know you will make a great dad one day. You will spoil them but at the same time discipline them when it's needed. You're the kind of parent I would be. Though he was tested as the 4th out of 5 best dads, in my eyes he's the best. lee chang sun, please never ever change, okay? ♥

So i think i might be catching a cold or something. And i did not realize it until i got to work today. My nose was all stuffy and so was my throat. And JiJae is all "Are you sick? O.O" and i told her i really don't know. So she leaves the kitchen and when i come back, she has dayquil in her hands and tells me to drink it. And then she was all "Put this on your nose.", hands me that vapor gel stuff or whatever you call it. then she takes a handful of cough drops and sticks them in my apron....lol. she's like a mother i swear. i didn't even ask for any of this and didn't really think i was that sick.
also, she understands me so much. i mean come on, who out of all my friends thinks GD's She's Gone MV is nice? they all think it's creepy and thinks i'm crazy for liking it. but JiJae's like "i like the MV...sure its a little creepy but it's good." HA HA HA. she agrees with me, yes yes. though i'm the only one who thinks JiYong looks good...i wouldn't mind him chasing me like that....v(^-^)/ ㅋㅋ