all those girls who have a big brother, even though he picks on you and over protects you. just so you know, you're lucky because atleast he cares about you. but having the feeling of wanting a big brother figure, when you actually have a big brother but he's never there, sucks. i do have a big brother, well he's my half brother (but so is my sister & we're super close), but it never seems like I do. i do love him though but we are very distant from eachother. we never really talk much and sometimes he likes to judge me and talk about me behind my back. you see, i use to be afraid of him growing up. i love my brother but was scared of him. he was a druggie and a trouble maker. he went to jail a few times and so forth. he had a really bad temper issue, which scared me the most. he also hurt my feelings alot growing up. forgetting birthdays & such.

I don't know, I just wish that sometimes I had that real big brother figure. I've always had friends that took that spot, but those friends all gone from my life so I no longer have it.

This is why I want a boy first & then a girl, so my girl can have the big brother i always wanted. :)

just because we're 14 years apart doesn't mean we can't be friends. that's an excuse because my sister and me, we're 17 years apart but she's like a best friend to me. But I also think my sister is more kind hearted and accepts people more.

Maybe one day, me and my brother will break that awkwardness between us and become close because he's moving to Germany in a few years with his wife. & After that, I don't think I will see him for a long time.

At times like this, I wish I had my other half brother. The one I never met. The one i don't even know if he's alive or not. The one who I want to find....but along with that there's a fear of rejection....

Maybe I'm just not meant to have a brother. :/